Below are the success stories
of some of my clients. I have changed their names to protect their
privacy.
My client, I’ll call her Christine,
came to me at age 32. She is 6 feet tall, attractive, brunette,
with kind brown eyes and was 15 pounds over weight. She was miserable
at her job as a CPA. She didn’t like her boss – he
wouldn’t look her in the face when he talked to her, she
didn’t have a romantic relationship and she wasn’t
clear about her values.
Christine didn’t know
what she wanted to do with her life and she knew she
didn’t want to be a CPA and do tax work the rest of her
life.
She was making a lot of money and that
wasn’t the most important thing to her.
She was very firm in her beliefs of
God and love but she didn’t love herself. Her first husband
had been emotionally abusive to her and she was hurt and afraid
to recommit.
Quieting
the Critical Voice
At first Christine was very
reserved. She is highly intelligent and smart and as
a result had a very smart gremlin / ego that kept her stuck. I
never gave up and I worked to help her quiet that critical voice
and eventually she started to trust herself and me and opened
up.
We coached to help her stop
being so hard on herself. She began to understand that
she was a fabulous woman, and that she didn’t have to stay
forever in a job she hated.
However, she didn’t know what
exactly she wanted to do. We kept working on helping clear out
all the gremlin voices that stopped her from exploring other options.
During tax season she was under
incredible stress. They were short-staffed, she was working
seven days a week with no breaks, and she would get on the phone
and cry. I remember I kept asking her if she could last until
April 15th. She took it one day at a time, sometimes one hour
at a time.
A
Miracle Happens
Then the most amazing thing
occurred. In the middle of all the tax season chaos she
came on the phone one day and told me what she was supposed to
do with the rest of her life.
She was going to quit her job and get
a masters in education. She made it through tax season, applied
and got accepted to a great school. She quit her job working full-time
for a major accounting firm, moved to a new city, shared a condo
with a friend, and got a part time job making $85,000 a year.
Loving Her
New Life
She is loving her new life.
She’s doing brilliantly at school and definitely made the
right choice to trust herself and God (her belief) and while she
doesn’t have a serious romantic relationship, she is dating
and in fact sent a man she was dating to start coaching with me.
Once she got clear on her values,
stopped beating herself up – emotionally –
like her husband had done, trusted the divine guidance she was
receiving, her life – with her effort – totally changed.
The second client I want to tell you
about is a friend of Christine’s named Sally. When she started
coaching with me she was miserable. She had “no life.”
She was 47, a petite redhead, a workaholic and made a lot of money
and had no personal life. She was very funny, but when we first
started coaching, she would just cry because she was so unhappy.
Boundary
Setting
The first thing I helped Sally
with was boundary setting. That meant she had to start
leaving the office at a decent time – 6 or 7 pm and not
work every weekend. I actually had to tell her she had to take
four days off or I couldn’t coach her. She was exhausted
and couldn’t think. The company she worked for thrived on
taking advantage of people who would work all the time. And her
boss set the pace. Plus the type of job she had – project
related - demanded unusually long hours.
Anyway, she took four days off and so
we really got into coaching. She basically had no friends and
no social life at all. She took everything personally and would
cry all the time. And what was worse, she didn't value herself
and looked to others to value her.
It Was No Laughing Matter,
But Laughter Helped
She had a fabulous sense of
humor and an ability to laugh at herself. She finally
went to a doctor and got her health back in order – her
thyroid was so low it was amazing she was functioning at all.
Value Yourself
Then little by little through
reading and lots of coaching she began to realize that other people
couldn’t value her if she didn’t value herself. She
stopped taking things personally when she realized that other
people had problems too.
She asked for and received a
$25,000 raise. She became really good at setting boundaries.
She started leaving work at a decent hour and joined a gym, started
exercising and getting massages regularly and even took a three
week vacation to Tuscany that included a week long bike trip!
Love
She started dating and even
fell in love and survived the guy withdrawing and leaving
her without any explanation and refusing to return her phone calls.
She wrote him apologizing if she had done anything wrong and realized
through our coaching that he had problems that had nothing to
do with her. She was very successful and educated and he had a
different background and didn’t make nearly the same amount
of money that she did.
She survived it and is now meeting new
men that are a
better fit; and doing creative, fun projects to fulfill her creative
side.
She is a different person today
than she was a year ago and she’s still working with me.
Sam was a real challenge. He came to
me after a girlfriend broke up with him and broke his heart.
He had a wall of safety built
around him that kept him isolated. He acted aloof and,
at times, indifferent to other people’s feelings.
He was smart, successful, handsome,
in great shape, and alone.
The great thing he had going for him
was he was very smart, a fast reader and comprehended at a level
that few people can.
New Information
Sam read every book (“Power
of Now”, “Seat of the Soul”, “The Four
Agreements”, “Love Without Conditions”, “The
Tao of Leadership”, “Everyday Grace”)
I recommended and more. All this new information gave him a new
way of looking at the world. He began to understand that his gremlin
/ego had kept him trapped in fear.
Through this understanding and coaching
to reach his heart, he began to break open his shell and reveal
that he was terrified of rejection. Here was this handsome man
who literally thought he would die if a woman rejected him.
Most people, especially
women, don’t realize that many men are afraid of rejection.
Through our coaching he was able to
see where he was hard on himself and that he had been critical
of the women in his life because it kept him safe.
Shame Transcended
We looked at how his mother
had been very critical of him and how he had so much SHAME!
As he read the books about shame he began to understand his pattern
and started choosing to love himself as opposed to criticizing
himself.
He stopped being so judgmental
of himself and others. Stopped taking everything personally.
His heart softened and this sweet soul emerged. A man with a kind,
wise heart.
Risking
Rejection
He really felt the loss from the woman
who broke up with him and little by little he got the courage
up to contact her and try to apologize.
Eventually he risked going to
see her to try to apologize in person. And while the
first meeting went well the subsequent follow up phone call was
a disaster. He realized he had given it his best. He had taken
the biggest RISK he could – he faced rejection, got it and
survived it. He was free of the devastating fear of rejection.
Her anger – while it made him
sad – wasn’t something he could change. She refused
to forgive him and that, he realized, was her choice.
Open Heart
Sam is now dating other women
and in the mean time he is starting another business
with his friends that will offer all of them an opportunity to
make extra money and have fun while they are doing it and allow
each one of them to contribute their special talent.
He is happy and at peace with
himself and it’s only a matter of time before he
meets another wonderful woman and falls in love and experiences
his new way of being and risking in the world.
Please go to the next page ABOUT
CAROL to learn more about me and what motivated
me to become a Certified Life Coach. People tell me that my background
makes them feel comfortable sharing their lives with me. Please
read my bio and see if you get a feeling of comfort and motivation.
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