ARE YOU TURNING MEN OFF?
Your
Self-Image May be Spoiling Your Man’s
View
Have
you ever complained about your body in
front of a man you like or love? Maybe
you’ve pointed out something you
consider a flaw? Most of us have. I’ll
confess, I’ve done it.
Last
week while getting my hair done I read
an article about how destructive this
complaining or criticizing was for the
male author’s love and appreciation
of women.
He
explained how he saw women as beautiful
and sensual. How he loved the feel of
a woman’s soft skin, how he loved
the look of a woman’s curves, her
arms, legs, neck, etc. He was upset that
women had spoiled their loveliness for
him. For him, when a woman pointed out
what she perceived as a flaw, he began
to notice that “flaw” instead
of seeing her beauty.
Women’s
tendency to criticize their bodies was
turning him off to women. He actually
stopped seeing all their beauty.
I
loved this man’s honesty, and his
willingness to explain what happened to
him when women do this. And I don’t
think he’s different from other
men.
I
think all men would agree that a woman’s
tendency to criticize her body spoils
her loveliness for them.
So
Why Do Women Criticize Their Bodies?
There
are three reasons that come to mind. Some
women are obsessed with their body image.
Some think it’s a way to get compliments.
(It’s not.) Some think men really
believe women look like they do in magazines.
One
woman told the author she wanted him to
see her stretch marks ahead of time so
he wouldn’t get grossed out and
reject her. Well, as I read about this
particular woman, I realized she was rejecting
herself. He was so happy with her that
he couldn’t have cared less about
stretch marks.
I
know there are a few neurotic men out
there who demand perfection. (Good luck
guys!) But you’ll know about that
after one or two dates. Who needs a perfectionist?
Run as fast as you can.
Most
men aren’t perfectionists and they
think women’s bodies are beautiful,
soft, and feminine. Because they’re
more muscular, hairy, harder, they see
our beauty and admire it.
Most
men are smart enough to know that the
models they see in the pages of Vogue,
and all other magazines, are digitally
enhanced pictures that idealize women
in order to sell products or glamour.
So
if you want to see imperfection or reality,
take a look at one of those models on
the street without her makeup, lighting
and the aid of Photoshop. Cindy Crawford
says, “I wish I looked like Cindy
Crawford.”
So
if you are one of those women who criticize
your body in front of your man, STOP.
Don’t spoil his vision of you.
Make
a promise not to EVER say anything critical
about your body in front of him. Stop
yourself from letting the words come out
of your mouth. Then when you’re
by yourself, ask yourself why you wanted
to do that. It was about you after all.
It had nothing to do with the man. Nothing.
It’s your issue.
If
you begin to really believe that men don’t
want perfection you will lighten up on
yourself. You are being destructive to
your body when you criticize it. Negative
thoughts and comments actually have a
destructive effect on your cells. And
you are made up of cells. Your body probably
works pretty well for you, so don’t
be mean it to.
Usually
women complain about things that they
think make them imperfect or undesirable.
But the majority of men don’t want
perfect. They want a woman who is fit,
healthy, fun, appreciative of them. A
woman who allows them to be a man and
doesn’t expect them to act like
their girlfriends. They want a woman who
feels good about herself and isn’t
always looking to the man to boost her
up, to build her self-esteem.
We
have to do that on our own. Men aren’t
equipped or trained to do that for us.
They don’t know how, don’t
want to, and usually have had lots of
experiences of doing it wrong and aren’t
willing to try again.
So
take care of yourself. Be kind to your
body. Consciously breathe. The body loves
conscious breathing. Go for a walk every
day. Take a bubble bath. Stretch. Take
a yoga class. Drink those 8 glasses of
water a day. Eat healthy. And most important
– appreciate your body. Say positive
things about it to yourself and others.
If
you do those few things you will be amazed
at how good you feel and you won’t
need a man to help you appreciate your
body. You will appreciate it because you’re
taking care of it.
Choose
to be good to your body. Choose to experience
the benefits of caring for your body.
Choose to always think and talk positively
about your body.
Imagine
the possibilities…
I
teach people to overcome the obstacles
that keep them stuck yet longing for romantic
relationships, more self-confidence and
inspiration to accomplish their dreams.
We
sometimes forget what it feels like to
live from our hearts and souls. We forget
the thrill of taking the brakes off and
flying. Life is dull if we just live from
our minds.
Are
you - or someone you know - settling,
for less than exciting, either in relationships
or a career?
Call
me. You don't have to be stuck! And once
you are unstuck you can be joyful and
free again!
If you would like to explore working with
me, please call me at 310-998-8860.
You
can visit my website at:
http://www.carolchanel.com
You'll
find other articles there and more in-depth
information about both my services and
me.
Carol Chanel
Certified Life Coach
http://www.carolchanel.com
mailto: carolchanel@verizon.net
310-998-8860
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