WHY ARE YOU SETTLING FOR CRUMBS?
you can have the whole cake?
I keep noticing
amazing women settling for men who clearly aren’t
good for them.
for a not-good-for-you man often has devastating repercussions.
Loss of self-esteem, loss of friends or loss of a good
job are only a few things that come from settling.
settle typically have at least one of these three thoughts:
can’t do any better
I don’t want to be alone while I’m going
through the attraction process
What I’m getting or not getting is what I’m
used to. It’s what my mother got so why should
I get more.
have to accept any of those thoughts as your reality.
You can get help to change them. Remember your thoughts
create your reality, so in order to change your reality
you want to change your thoughts
Understand Because I Used To Settle
got married I always chose aloof men who only gave me
crumbs of love. My father acted aloof and wasn’t
very loving when he did interact with me. The truth
is he was a sweet man, whose father, my grandfather,
was filled with rage because he lost everything in the
depression and suffered from horrible back pain.
also had severe back pain and he lost a significant
portion of his hearing during the war. So he didn’t
hear well and was in pain, physically and probably emotionally,
from the wounds from his father.
and coaching I did, helped me understand my father and
to realize I didn’t have to settle for similar
behavior from a man.
Truth About Men And Love
truth is most men just aren’t comfortable with
showing love or being emotionally intimate. They will
only give women as much, or as little, as they can get
away with. They’re not trying to be mean or cold.
They just aren’t comfortable with the expression
of love. The good ones want to be, and will try, if
you can have the whole cake and the icing if you want.
Believe me it’s there for you and it’s really
You Choose To Settle
do you know the misery that gets created in a woman’s
life when she settles? Oh my gosh. I can tell you horror
stories. A woman starts out as bright eyed and hopeful.
Then she thinks that she can’t attract anyone
better than the guy she’s currently dating, so
she marries him and ends up lonely, empty, miserable
and older with very little, if any, self esteem.
SETTLE! IT’S NOT WORTH IT!!! I talk to
women of all ages who have settled. Or are thinking
of settling. I get them to look at the truth. They usually
don’t want to see it at first. But compassionately
and persistently, I keep bringing them back to the truth.
And I help them believe in themselves and their worth
so they can attract a great guy.
with a man and he only comes over for one reason, dump
him. Get real! He’s just using you. I’m
very direct with women who tell me the man loves them,
when he really only wants one thing. Try seeing if he’ll
take you to a lovely dinner, or to meet his friends
and family, or take you to a company function. If he
doesn’t do any of those things – he doesn’t
love you, he’s using you.
you notice you’re settling, then start by telling
yourself the truth. Look at what you’re settling
for. If there is abuse, either verbal, emotional or
physical – please get out and get help.
You Kick Him Out The Door
settling for something less painful than abuse, like
crumbs of love or lack of support, or other things that
don’t feel good to you, then before you leave
your man, I want you to try a few things.
do some work on yourself to regain your self confidence.
If you’ve been settling, your self esteem and
self confidence will have suffered as a result. You
can learn to feel great about yourself again.
understand his behavior is not personal.
It’s about him. He may be absorbed in something
in his own life that has caused him to disconnect from
you. He may be afraid of intimacy. He may not know how
to give love.
talk to him and see if he’s willing to give more.
Be specific, clear about what you want. And don’t
make him wrong. Men are often willing to give
more, but if you don’t ask, they’re not
going to do it on their own.
demonize your man. He’s not bad or wrong. A man
will never give more love, support, time or anything
else if you make him feel badly about himself. That
will just make him defensive and want to pull back even
you leave, give him a chance. Listen to his reasons.
If you’re doing something that is bothering him,
look to see if you’re willing to change.
the meantime, keep working on yourself. Look at what
you really want in a man. Decide how you really want
him to treat you and how you want to treat him. Daydream
about the relationship you want to have and don’t
settle for less.
say derogatory things about men have never met my husband,
or his friends or my friends. There are GREAT MEN out
you don’t settle and you know what you want and
you believe you will attract a great man – guess
what? You will.
to not settle. Choose to value yourself. Choose to understand
yourself. Choose to believe in your value. Choose to
create your reality with a great man.
My all time favorite DVD, about a woman who
learns to love and value herself again, and gains understanding
about how the Law of Attraction works, is “What
The Bleep Do We Know.”
The Bleep Do We Know” is the more advanced version
of “The Secret” and most of my clients liked
it better because it deals with relationships and is
If you want
more money in your life, then “The Secret”
is a good source of information. If you want more love
and joy in your life, then “What The Bleep Do
We Know” will give you that information.
told as a story so it’s more interesting to watch.
And the ending is a real treat!
I teach people
to overcome the obstacles that keep them stuck yet longing
for romantic relationships, more self-confidence and
inspiration to accomplish their dreams.
forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and
souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off
and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.
Are you -
or someone you know - settling, for less than exciting,
either in relationships or a career?
You don't have to be stuck! And once you are unstuck
you can be joyful and free again!
If you would
like to explore working with me, please call me at 310-998-8860.
You can visit
my website at:
other articles there and more in-depth information about
both my services and me.
Certified Life Coach
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