ARE YOU WISHING AND HOPING YOUR LIFE AWAY?

Wishing and hoping as it relates to relationships is a topic that I’m passionate about, because it causes so much heartache and wastes your life. It also keeps you from love and having a Rockin’ Relationship.

Are you wishing and hoping that the man or woman you’re with will decide to commit and love you fully? Don’t wish or hope. If a man or woman wants to be with you they will.

The hot book of 2004 “he’s just not that into you” by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo makes this point. When I first heard about the book I thought it was hype. That was until I heard Greg and Liz interviewed on Larry King and realized he wrote the book to help women.

Women tend to make excuses for men when they aren’t calling, being intimate or committing. Men do this too. As a coach, I actually hear this from both sexes.

The excuses are, “oh he’s afraid to commit,” “he’s been hurt in the past,” “he’s tired,” and many others. And I know what it’s like to date a man who disappears, cools off, or won’t commit. It feels awful.

But what feels worse is wishing and hoping that he’ll come around, that he’ll handle his fear and then commit. It does happen, but don’t wait around for it to happen.

When somebody wants to be with you, they will move mountains to make sure they call, see you and commit to you. That is a fact.

Now it’s very easy to spend time analyzing a man or woman and looking at their issues. But the real question is why are you spending time with someone who won’t commit? What are you deeply afraid of?

Getting to that truth, and healing the heartbreak will allow you to move on and quit wishing and hoping.

If you remember that you are a precious child of the Divine, that you are loved, and lovable, you won’t be afraid. A wise guide once told me that “true love” never hurts. She’s right. It may take a different form than what you thought or wanted it to, but it is still with you. True love lasts forever and keeps on giving.

So trust that you are lovable. Trust that the Divine Source will bring you the partner of your dreams and desires. Write down all the specifics of how you want to feel, be treated, be loved. Then set your intention and tell the Universe – the Divine Source - you want this love now.

Then get ready to be in the moment, to be filled with love and joy, to feel true love.

imagine the possibilities...

© Carol Chanel, 2005

From Cynthia, a 28-year-old physical therapist in New York City

Q: Carol, I’ve been dating a great guy for about four months. We seemed to be in love and things were going great, and then he stopped calling every day. I thought, well he’s busy at work. Then he started making plans on Saturday nights with his buddies, when in the past we always went out on Saturdays and Fridays too. I asked him if anything was wrong, and he said no, he just needed to see his buddies. Male bonding time.

So am I wasting my time here? I’m thinking if he wants to see his buddies and he wants to see me less, then something is wrong. Should I wait to see if he’s just in a phase or should I start dating other men?

A: Cynthia, start dating other men. Your “great man” is on the way out and there’s no reason for you to wait around for him to just fade into the sunset.

When a man really is interested in a woman he will never give up a Saturday night to see his buddies. He wants the companionship and intimacy with his girlfriend. It’s one thing if it’s a big event like a basketball playoff game, but if it’s just to hang with the guys, get moving.

Men don’t know how to tell a woman they don’t want to date anymore. They just start fading away and hope you’ll get the hint. Don’t analyze him, just open up to be with a man that does want to be with you on the weekends.

And please don’t take it personally. This isn’t about anything being wrong with you. He just isn’t in it for the long run and you are better off knowing that now and not wasting any more time. I know you’ll want to spend some time processing the end of this relationship – maybe a day.

Then put on your favorite dress and high heels, and go dancing or whatever you love to do that makes you feel alive, joyful and se*y. Don’t worry your finding your “man” – your true love - is waiting for you.

The book “he’s just not that into you” by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo is so perfect for women dating in today’s world.

In the chapter entitled, “He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you” they say men know how to use the phone. Greg says, “We like taking time from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. It makes us happy. And we like to be happy.”

Greg says that “men are cowards and they would rather wait until the end of time than give you bad news.”

Liz and Greg will give you scenarios and explanations to help you understand why you don’t want to wait around wishing and hoping.

It’s a quick read and one that will get you out of the dreaded waiting game and into the happy dating game.

A must read!

I help people get unstuck and find happiness and fulfillment.

As human beings we sometimes forget what it feels like to live from our hearts and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just live from our minds.

People come to me generally with some issue, some place in their life where they are stuck, and can't move forward. Usually they get stuck in their relationships, life purpose or trying to maintain balance.

Do you know someone who is settling, for less than exciting, either in their relationships or career?

Ask them to call me. They don't have to be stuck! And once they are unstuck they can fly -- and be wild and free!

I've been helping people really live and thrive since 1983.

If you would like to explore working with me, please call me at 310-998-8860.

You can visit my website at:
http://www.carolchanel.com

You'll find other articles there and more in-depth information about both me and my services.

Carol Chanel
Certified Life Coach
http://www.carolchanel.com
mailto: carolchanel@verizon.net
310-998-8860
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© Carol Chanel 2005