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THE
SECRET TO LOVE REVEALED
I work with women and
men who are unhappy in their romantic relationships,
or they are unhappy that they don’t have
romantic relationships. Their pain is so deep
and frequent that often it crushes their spirit.
At the core of their
unhappiness, either with or without a partner,
are their thoughts about themselves and how they
fit into relationships.
If you are experiencing
this right now, then keep reading because I’m
going to share with you how to break free of this
pattern of pain. And help you have romantic love
in your life.
It’s so simple.
Part of the problem
are the lies you tell yourself! (For more information,
go to my website and under my “Rockin’
Relationships Ezine” Archive read, “Liar
Liar, Your Dream’s on Fire”)
In order to experience
love, I want to focus now on knowing your true
self.
YOUR TRUE SELF
You are a precious soul.
You are a child of the Divine Source. Call that
Source whatever you like - Spirit, Source, God.
The name doesn’t matter. I want you to grasp
the meaning, the truth, the love.
Because you
are that LOVE. That love is there for you. At
all times you are connected to it. And only YOU
can disconnect from it.
Here’s what Don
Miguel Ruiz says in his new book, “The Voice
of Knowledge.”
“Behind
your story is the real you, and it’s full
of love. The goodness is there because what you
are is goodness. You don’t have to try to
pretend to be what you are not. You are one with
God (LOVE), and it’s effortless. God (LOVE)
is here, and you can feel the presence of God
(LOVE.) Of course, if you don’t feel God’s
(LOVE’S) presence, you need to detach from
the story because the only thing between you and
God (LOVE) is your story.”
So if love is there,
why aren’t you feeling it? Why doesn’t
it seem to be in your life? Because you’ve
disconnected from it.
WHY YOU DON’T
HAVE LOVE IN YOUR LIFE
The main reason
you’ve disconnected from love is because
of FEAR. And fears come from our lies. The ego
keeps us “safe” by telling us all
those lies. And then those lies become your story.
For example:
“The last two men I was with were emotionally
unavailable and broke my heart and so I distrust
all men.” “My father told me men are
out for one thing only so I have to protect myself.”
“My ex-husband was mean and I need to defend
myself against all men.” “My mother
was abusive and controlling and all women are
out to control me.”
On and on the
list goes projecting bad experiences onto new
men or women that come into your life. You’re
allowing some past bad experiences to totally
ruin your chance for love. Why?
Fear! All that
comes from your fear, your story, your lies about
why you can’t have love.
Because if you remembered
that you are LOVE, if you stayed connected to
LOVE, to God, then you would never be without
LOVE.
So how do you
get rid of the fear, once and for all, so you
can have love in your life?
GETTING RID
OF FEAR
Now let’s look
at David Hawkins’s book “Power vs
Force” and his levels of consciousness.
At the level
of fear he states that your God-view is Punitive.
Your Life-view is Frightening. Your Emotion is
Anxiety. Your Process is Withdrawal.
When most people want
to shift out of fear they try to get into action
to change how they feel. They go online to start
dating. They join a club to meet new people. They
are taking action to move out of the process of
Withdrawal.
I don’t like to
start from that place because you still have two
huge negative thoughts in your mind that have
to be shifted first, in order to move out of Withdrawal
with ease and safety.
The two things that
have to change first are your God-view and your
Life-view. You change those perspectives and your
whole life changes.
I don’t think
it’s any accident that Hawkins starts with
your God-view. Why? Because if you see God as
punitive then how do you see your chances for
romantic love? Dim or non-existent.
Where did this idea
of a punitive God come from? Mostly from religions
in order to control people – you’ll
be punished for your sins, you’re unworthy,
etc.
If you see God as punitive;
and you tell yourself you are unworthy of love,
or you have to earn love, or you’re not
good enough for love, then you’re doomed
to a life without romantic love.
You’re really
not, but you will tell yourself you are, and that
is the reality you will create.
So do you see
what I’m talking about? If your God-view
is punitive then you will not have love in your
life. Your ego will always tell you lies about
why you should be punished and have love withheld.
Your ego will remind you of all the things you’ve
done in your life for which it likes to make you
wrong and unworthy. Your story.
But God isn’t
a punitive God. That’s a Lie!
So let’s look
at a new perspective. Let’s look at how
David Hawkins says we view God when we are at
the higher levels of consciousness.
God is Permitting, Enabling,
Inspiring, Merciful, Wise, Loving, One, All-Being,
Self.
A new perspective
you could choose would be: God loves me no matter
what I do or say. God is merciful, helps me, permits
me to choose, to learn from my mistakes, guides
me, and I am one with God.
If you choose that perspective
then will Life be frightening? No! Will your process
be anxiety? No! Will you want to withdraw? No!
If you want
love in your life, then stop telling yourself
your old story and choose consciously to shift
your perspective of God /Source / Spirit, to being
Loving not Punitive.
Take this simple,
yet challenging step. Throw out the lie that God
is punitive and you don’t deserve romantic
love. Replace it with the truth that God isn’t
punitive and you are connected, you are One with
a permitting, enabling, inspiring, merciful and
Loving God / Divine Source and see what happens.
imagine the possibilities...
© Carol Chanel

From Stephanie, a 36-year-old
film producer in London
Q:
“Carol, I really want to get remarried but
I’m afraid. I’m dating a really nice
man and he is talking about a future with me and
I’m scared. My first husband was mean and
condescending to me after we got married. I don’t
want to go through that again. It almost did me
in.”
A:
Stephanie, I know you went through the ringer
in that marriage. I’m so glad you got the
help you needed to get out.
Here’s the thing,
you’re not the same person anymore. You
have good boundaries now. You are projecting your
past onto this lovely man you’ve met.
By being afraid, you
aren’t trusting the Source / God to send
you a wonderful man. You are assuming that God
/ Source is punitive and that you deserve to be
punished. That’s a lie! You don’t
deserve to be punished. You deserve all the love,
happiness, abundance, good health and joy that
you can handle. And then some.
Don’t let your
old perspective that God is punitive ruin all
your future relationships.
Trust your instincts,
hold your boundaries firmly and lovingly, go slow
and Trust and Surrender to God. You are loved!
Enjoy this new love!

I didn’t start
off loving this book, but it didn’t take
too long before I was hooked. Don Miguel Ruiz’s
new book “The Voice of Knowledge”
is a must read. You will become so aware of how
often you tell yourself little lies. My husband
and I catch ourselves now and laugh.
Don Miguel Ruiz really
gets into the truth about why we lie, how we lie
and how to stop lying.
A must read for those
of us on the path to our true selves filled with
love, light and joy!
Happy Truth Telling!

I help people get unstuck
and find happiness and fulfillment.
As human beings we sometimes
forget what it feels like to live from our hearts
and souls. We forget the thrill of taking the
brakes off and flying. Life is dull if we just
live from our minds.
People come to me generally
with some issue, some place in their life where
they are stuck, and can't move forward. Usually
they get stuck in their relationships, life purpose
or trying to maintain balance.
Do you know someone
who is settling, for less than exciting, either
in their relationships or career?
Ask them to call me.
They don't have to be stuck! And once they are
unstuck they can fly -- and be wild and free!
I've been helping people
really live and thrive since 1983.
If you would like to
explore working with me, please call me at 310-998-8860.
You can visit my website
at:
http://www.carolchanel.com
You'll find other articles
there and more in-depth information about both
me and my services.
Carol Chanel
Certified Life Coach
http://www.carolchanel.com
mailto: carolchanel@verizon.net
310-998-8860
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© Carol Chanel
2005 |